Anger dealing technique - The Yogic way

As I understand, Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems.

Bhagawad Gita says that man loses his memory and as a result everything gets ruined. Memory is what we really, internally, in-depth within us.  Our memory is nothing but our storage of past feelings.  For example I felt sad when my grand-father passed away.  That becomes a memory in me.  I felt loved for the first time in my life.  That day passed away long back.  But that wonderful memory of 'felt loved' is still there in me.

So anger is an emotion.  When a man felt hurt it invokes the emotion of anger.  But in such a situation when the *memory* fails him.  He is only in a reactive mode!  He felt hurt he makes you feel hurt!  That is all there is... beyond that there is no credibility to that feeling.  However that feeling may turn in to memory!  memory of hurt humiliation for the later day period.  So I reaffirm my position that "people say things which they don't mean when they are angry".

You have three ways of dealing with anger:

1) Express

2) Suppress

3) Calm down

Express:  You can express your angry feelings in an assertive, non-aggressive manner. But to do this you have to know what your needs are, what you really want, and how you are hurt.  This also means you are not only respectful towards others but also respectful towards your needs.

Suppress: Just take a break from the hurt feeling.  Just do something else... walk out of the situation.  Give it time... Go to a movie....Eat an icecream.. Park it.... But those who don't know how to supress the anger in a healthy way can internalize their anger leading to hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression!  So in your anger you should not feel help-less suppression.  You have to be in control of yourself.

Calm Down: Requires the help of 6th Chapter in Bhagwad Gita. [uddared aatmani aatmaanam na aatmaanam avasaadayet] You can control your outward response to your anger.  You can also control your own inner response to your anger.  There is a technique called giving 10 second delay and five point delay to your response.  This can be practised in a healthy environment with your friend or your relative who is willing to help you understand yourself.

Yoga Technique to calm down when you are angry: [maatraa sparsastu kounteya - Gita]

1) My ears [sravana matra] heard what he said that [what ever]  --- think of it - take your time - you are not in a hurry

2) My eyes [cakshu matra] seen what is happening [what ever] --- think of it - take your time - you are not in a hurry

3) There is energy that is being built in my Manipura chakra [Solar plexus] and getting concentrated on Anahata chakra [near the heart]. Feel it - take your time - you are not in a hurry to bring it out!

4) This energy is now raising in you... Something within you is now rising like a lava from witin a volcano... It is now energising your throat chakra.  You want to open your mouth and say something... --- WAIT... WAIT... WAIT... 

5) Get your attntion to the sahasrara chakra... The crown chakra... Sahasrara or white lotus, is located either at the top of the head, or a little above it. There is this beautiful nectar there, it is where your memories are stored on petals. The white lotus is in a serene pond called Chitta... That water is helpful use that water to douse the fire.  Pour that white-lotus nectar the water on your throat chakra.... Let the fire be doused.  Give it time... You are not in a hurry.

Now after going through the above five steps of Yoga you are free to give a response to the eternal stimuli which is making you feel angry.  -Madhava Turumella